Jokes

GETTING OLD

• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work

• The gleam in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals

• Your black book contains only names ending in M.D.

• You get winded playing cards

• Your children begin to look middle aged

• You know all the answers but nobody asks the questions

• Your dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge

• You sit in a rocking chair but can't make it go

• Your back goes out more than you do

• You need glasses to find your glasses

• Your knees buckle but your belt won't

• You look forward to a dull evening at home

• A fortune teller offers to read your face

• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there

• Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles

But don't be downhearted - remember - old age and treachery defeat youth and skill.

A new and easy Covid-19 test is doing the rounds …

Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favourite whisky (or gin or rum) then see if you can smell it.
If you can you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are free of the virus.

I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free every time, thank goodness. I will have to test myself again today though, as I have developed a headache which can also be one of the symptoms.